Letting Go

“There are some things that we never want to let go of and people we never want to leave behind; but keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world but the beginning of a new life.” –Unknown

Forgive me. The moon is full. I can’t help but talk about love and pain. No, I’m no expert. It just happens to be my favorite topic nowadays. I can no longer blame my hormones. I’m tired of pointing my finger up to the stars. So now, I turn to the moon. Pathetic.

But I’m better now, as compared to yesterday and several days before that. I’ve calmed myself down. I’ve taught myself to look into the bigger picture instead of scrutinizing the smallest details. And gladly, it worked. Somehow.

It saddens me to realize that I still haven’t learned to completely let go—of the pain and of the love. It sucks to know that unlike rational people, I had to let my emotions control me. I used to think I was rational. Okay, I made myself believe I was rational. Until he came. And ruined everything I believed in.

Nonetheless, I know I’m learning. Slowly, I have started to take the long and winding road. And unlike before, I don’t see myself back to where I started. Don’t get me wrong. The pain’s still there. But the wound, although still a little sore, is no longer fresh. It would leave scars, I know. But the scars would no longer hurt anymore. Perhaps by then, I can say I’ve moved on.

Never in my entire life did it occur to me that letting go was this hard—and this painful. But I know I must learn. And I am learning.

One day, I will wake up and realize the pain is no longer there. One day, I can already look back without shedding any tear. One day, the memories will leave me with nothing but a smile. One day. Someday.